Is This The Line?

Physical abuse is something that I do not agree with, especially when it involves a child and disguised by calling it discipline. I’ve never been a parent, but I’ve grown up living in a house where a day care is run and I have a brother who is 11 years younger then me, and I’ve never felt the need to hit a child. In Georgia, unfortunately not everyone feels this way. 

According to Unicef 79.8% of children under the age of eleven and in the eleven to eighteen year age range that number drops to 44%, but that is still alarmingly high. 19% of children in the report, were physically disciplined before their first birthday and 90% of four to seven year olds were. The most common punishments were reported to be shaking, pulling hair, twisting ears, and smacking on the bottom with a hand. “Just over a fifth of respondents (to the survey) 21.5% reported that they had repeatedly hit their child ( beat him/ her up). Eight respondents admitted to trying to choke or suffocate the child and 6 burning him/ her.” 

(You can read the whole report here: http://www.unicef.org/georgia/Violence_Study_ENG_final.pdf and the article which is a little easier to read and takes less time to understand here: http://www.unicef.org/georgia/media_11332.html )

I was back in my village this weekend to visit with my host family and to deliver four backpacks with school supplies and some clothes to one of my old students’ family, who are very poor. I walked to their house, paying close attention to make sure that I didn’t drag any of the straps in the mud, as it had down poured the night before. I reached the house and I heard screaming by the mother at one of her daughters and what was the mother hitting the daughter and she cried out after every hit. I only stood there for a few seconds before I went in the gate. The youngest daughter came out of the house and was over joyed to see me standing there and yelled to her mother that I was there. The screaming by her stopped and there was sounds of shuffling inside. All the adults put on a happy face to see me, but I also noticed that the bedroom door was shut. I wanted to be out of this situation as soon as possible. Teach and Learn with Georgia told us during orientation that we are never to directly intervene with domestic violence, for obvious reasons. I handed out the backpacks to the two children who were in the room and the youngest daughter was the most over joyed about it. The middle daughter was pleased and modest. I was offered coffee and juice and I refused both. I didn’t want to take anything from this family who had so little. 

The oldest daughter came out of the bedroom after she had regained composure, but her face was still red and she was wiping away tears. I should also mention that she is about fourteen. She looked ashamed when I looked at her, because she knew that I knew what had happened. I however did not know what caused her mother to hit her, but I highly doubt it justified her actions. When I was there the mother also got mad at the middle daughter (age 11)  for doing something minuscule wrong and angrily took her in the kitchen and I saw her rase her hand threateningly before closing the door behind her. Coffee did appear for me at one point and I didn’t drink it. It was the one rebellion I could perform against her for treating her children in such a way and I told her harshly that I didn’t want it when I left.

I wanted to take her children with me, but there are currently no laws to my knowledge against corporal punishment in the home. Sadly his isn’t a secret in the village by any means. My co-teacher last semester would tell me what students had a “hard life,” which she sometimes went into detail about, but always meant they were being physically abused. No one speaks out because they are too ashamed and they have to live in such a close knit community for most likely their whole life, where they would be shunned for reporting such actions to the authorities. Out of the four children in the family, the three that I taught last year all showed signs of abuse and neglect. It is easier then I want to admit, to write off things, as they are extremely poor, like their unkept appearance at times. I had even witnessed the mother swat at the children before. The question is what to do with this knowledge, being a foreigner in a country with nonexistent child protective services. How long is one suppose to wait, until there is a visible bruise, a broken bone, or a dead child?