Pro Tips for Surviving a Long Journey

I’m not sure how many of you kind folks reading this will be aware of any of my current travel adventures so I’ll fill you in. I left for Lviv, Ukraine on May 20th and will arrive back in the States on July 10th, unless there is some unforeseen delay, like the National Ballet of Ukraine offers me the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker and I have to stay and train, or I get really drunk one night in Lviv and somehow wonder in Chernobyl and get attacked by a radio active bear. But as both of those are highly unlike as I would settle for no less then the Bolshoi Ballet company in Moscow  or the fact that I never drink we should have nothing to worry about, preventing me to make it back to the States. 

What I would like to talk about today is how I’m getting to Ukraine without loosing my mind and without loosing a bunch of cash. To get to Lviv I had to wake up at 1am Maine time (MET for short) on Monday May 20th, to be showered, make sure everything was packed, and make it to the airport in time for my 6am flight. My first flight would take me from Portland International Jetport, to JFK where I would arrive a little after 7am MET (Maine time, trying to keep it simple so you don’t have to do time zone math) My next flight from JFK to Moscow didn’t leave until 2:20pm MET. Upon flying into Moscow around midnight MET, I didn’t catch my next flight to Kiev, Ukraine for a few hours after that. When I got to Kiev it was 4am MET on Tuesday the 21st. I then had to wait around another 4 hours for my train to Lviv which won’t get me there until about 5:30pm MET. Over all about 36 hours of pure travel, in planes, trains, and automobiles, with a whole lot of time to kill. 

-Hydrate. I cannot emphasize this enough. A few days before your flight, especially if it’s a long one, up the water intake and cut back on everything else. Don’t drink the booze before or during a flight, I know it’s free sometimes, but seriously just go out to a bar when you get where ever you are going and find a man to buy you a free drink. You’ll feel so much better emotionally and physically with this strategy. Day of flight continue to drink stupid amounts of water. If you don’t want to pay for water in an airport, like myself, take an empty bottle with you through security and fill it up after. Try to say no to or at least limit soda and juice intake. The carbonation from soda can leave you bloated and the juice is a lot of sugar. I’ve also been told that you shouldn’t have caffein on flight days, but I’m not a doctor and I normally drink about three to five cups of coffee a day so for me cutting it out completely would leave a non-functioning me. Keep drinking water after you land, but make sure to check out the bathroom situation before hand. I once found myself trapped on an Italian train with no working bathrooms for 2 hours after downing 1.5 liters of water. I hated life. Drink water, you get the point.

Ukraine Train Toilet

-Food. Pack a food bag. This is the one thing you will never regret over packing. For this epic journey my bag consisted of three apples, three bananas, a sandwich bag of strawberry and another one of grapes, and another of raw almonds. I also somehow managed to get fresh almond butter through TSA. All very healthy foods, because I knew that airplane food isn’t that healthy (still ate some of it. They gave massive chunks of cheese and walnuts out as PART of a snack. Massive shout out to Transaero airlines and their food that exceeded my expectations!) Also while waiting in multiple airports or train stations, I didn’t want to have to pay to $2 for that, same banana I could have packed myself and a hungry me isn’t a happy me. Also ditch Burger King or some place like that before you fly. No one and I mean no one wants to get the shits on international flight with a limited amount of bathrooms and limited times you can use them. (Yes, I always think and talk about the bathrooms.)

My travel companion and our airport picnic

You can always pick up local food once you land.

-Sleep. Try to sleep at the time you would be on at your destination on travel day.  This can be tricky. I’m a big fan of popping a sleeping pill on the flight over the Atlantic and drooling all over myself and my newly aquatinted seat mate. Sometimes, even this isn’t fool proof. Mine knocked me out for about 2 hours and than I slept badly on and off after that. I’m going to blame it on the fact that we were flying far north, over Iceland, Norway, Sweden and such, so the sun never set for the whole trip.  Also, don’t beat yourself up over not concurring jet lag in the first day. I’m not a master. I will say that for the first part of your day, no matter how shitty you are feeling get a small americano into you and be exposed to natural light. If you don’t drink coffee, forget I said that. 

Coffee, the elixir of life!

Iceland, way later then the sun should be up

-Planing your journey in the best way for you. I could have spent another few hundred dollars and have flown directly to Lviv, but in my never ending quest to save money and my love of Ukrainian trains I chose not to. All my friends in Lviv think I am crazy for insisting on this path of travel, but thankfully my best friend has stopped fighting me on this, still thinks I’m crazy, but ended up booking probably the perfect ticket for me. He threw out the idea of the fast train, which limits luggage (I have way to much as always) and the fact that it doesn’t have beds. The beds are a key factor, as I will be traveling from 3:20pm Lviv time till a little after midnight. I needed the option to be able to lay down, and have been dozing on and off for the past 4 hours of my ride. He also smartly bumped me up to second class where I could get a cabin with a closing door, to block noise, a bottom bed and when he booked my ticket I was the only one staying in my room, so it’s been me sitting around in my leggings and a tank top, drooling on my pillow, and eating out of my food bag without anyone watching. This upgrade was only about $5 more and so worth it. I also have the potential to get some awesome cabin mates who will, most likely feed me if they ever appear.

-Staying fresh. On journeys like this it can be hard. My hair has turned into a grease ball, so I’ve given up on that front. I did pack an extra change of cloths in my carry on. From America to Moscow I had sport leggings on with a tank top, sweatshirt and sneakers. As soon as I hit Moscow I changed into a black maxi dress with a jean jacket, and nice flip flops. It was a new day, so time for a new outfit and one that was more socially expectable. You don’t go out looking like a slob in Europe. The key to the second outfit is something that looks more dressed up, but still feels like cozy clothes and are easy to move in. I also like to look like the local population as much as I can, which backfired and people kept speaking to me in Russian and Ukrainian and asking me for directions.  

-Keeping entertained. I travel with my laptop and iPhone, for electronics, both of which on long journeys will die, no matter how hard I try to charge them when I find an available outlet. I limit myself to just music and audiobooks on my iPhone. I know the audiobooks can sound a little nerdy, but I like to be able to close my eyes and listen to a story I either already know well or something that is easy to fallow. Most public libraries have e-libraries that you can download audio books and e-books for free for a set amount of time. Since my electronics always die I try to take one paperback (less weight than a hardcover) with me that isn’t too taxing to read. There is nothing worse then lacking sleep and trying to get through As I Lay Dying by Faulkner. My brain implodes and I want to cry because of how stupid I feel. Trash magazines are also a decent investment, especially if you can find a fellow traveler to swap with. 

The best possible entertainment source is to find someone to flirt with. Here is my logic, you are in transit, you will never have to see or talk to this person again if you really don’t want to. I lucked out, or my airline was trying to play match maker, on my flight from NYC to Moscow and ended up sitting next to a guy a few years older then me  and decently attractive looking. Our introduction was me telling him that he was in my window seat and to get up and move, now this could have made for an awkward flight, but I started small talk and by the end of the flight we were talking about things that I can’t write here because my parents read this blog. (E-mail me if you want to know the details.)

Even better then finding someone to flirt with is when they find you. When I was transferring terminals in JFK, dragging my 2 fifty pound suitcases and a guy commented on how much I had with me. He continued to tell me about his work and how he traveled every week. We got on to the topic of iphones and how they make life so easy and I admitted that I will hate to go without it in Ukraine and as we parted ways, he handed me his card and told me to e-mail him about my travels if I ever found wifi. Sneaky, sneaky man, but admire his delivery. A for effort! He may get a consolation e-mail.

I think I’ve covered all the bases, but feel free to add your own tips on how not to die on massively long journeys. I am going to drool more on my train pillow and hope for the best! 

Waiting...

It's Turkey Lurkey Time!... Almost.

Traveling long distances is as much apart of Thanksgiving for a lot of people, as turkey, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, and football. The longest I ever was in a car to see family was an hour tops. This year took a little bit more time, involved multiple modes of transportation, and my cunning.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving I impatiently taught, until 12:20 and raced out of school to my apartment to finish packing, change my clothes and then set off from Tbilisi, Georgia to Lviv, Ukraine. I road a public bus, where people tsked my big backpacking backpack to Station Square where I found a marshookah (a van that holds about 15 people) that could take me to Kutaisi. The guy collecting money was very impressed that I could speak Georgian, blushing I told him I could only a little bit and that I was an English teacher here. He sat me next to an older woman who seemed a little unsure about having her seat mate be this odd American in her sports clothes. I was jonesing to leave, but a debate started about a flower arrangement that woman didn’t want to hold for the whole trip and the guy collecting money said that she would have to pay for another seat if she wanted to take up a seat with it. Her excuse was that there was no one sitting there anyway so she shouldn’t have to pay. This debate raged for a good ten minutes. I kept saying, ‘Oh my God’ under my breath in Georgian and the woman next to me exchanged looks with me that we were under mutual agreement that this vehicle needed to move pronto.

We drove for four and a half hours, with one stop, picturesque Soviet towns, and lots of muttering from the woman next to me, until we reached Kutaisi. I had no idea where the airport was and when the driver told us that, this was the Kutaisi stop, two girls in Russian said that they were looking for the airport. I asked a Georgian girl who was sitting near me, who spoke English, what exactly they had said about the airport and she said that they were going and I told her that I needed to too. We left the city and drove through farm land, it was dusk and we seemed to be driving far past where I thought the airport should be. The Georgian girl told me that we would be there in a few minutes and I relaxed a little. The woman sitting next to me helped me into my coat. I’m  sure she just was worried I was going to accidentally smack her in the face, trying to get my arm in the sleeve. 

Low and behold we did reach the newly constructed airport, and by newly constructed I mean still being built. I was there three hours before my flight and there was no wi-fi, shops, or outlets to charge my laptop that was at 63% battery power, so I crossed watching the Hunger Games, again, off the to do list again. That left me with eating, calling people, and watching Georgians check in and go threw security. 

I, myself had to get checked in and pray to God that they would except my backpack as a carry on. I got one checked bag for free, but my plane would land a little after 10pm in Kiev and I would have an hour to go through passport control, get my bag, get to the train station, get my ticket that I had bought online, and find my train and get on it. I needed this bag not to be checked so I could make it, otherwise the chances of me pulling this off looked dismal and would also mean I would be stuck in Kiev for the night. Upon check in, they informed me that it would have to be checked. I tried to explain my situation and they told me that I would have my bag shortly after we landed and not to worry. I reluctantly gave it to them, after they interrogated me about the liquid contents of it. 

Do you have liquids in your bag?

Yes, I just told you that I did and that they were small, like lipgloss small.

So you have no more then five liters of liquid in your bag?

No? 

I was super confused as to why they were so concerned with my capacity in my bag. I travel a lot, and not even the TSA agents have cared. Hell, I’ve gotten a small bottle of hand sanatizer, through multiple international airport securities, not in it’s plastic bag. Tbilisi airport let me bring 200 milliliters of vodka in my carryon once and now I was getting shit in a half built airport in the middle of no where about liquids? (I also saw an hour later someone get approval for two full size bottles of Georgian wine to be brought on the plane. I guess I was just carrying the wrong liquids, because they weren’t Georgian.) The woman who was checking me in also called over her supervisor when she saw I was traveling on an American passport. With the airport only being open for about two months, about 3 flights a day, I’m willing to bet I could have been one of the first Americans traveling through. The supervisor asked me where my visa for Ukraine was, when she couldn’t find one. I politely stated that I’m American and don’t need one. I also explained that it was my fifth time going, so I was probably right. 

I stood in line waiting to go through security, passing the time playing with an obese baby. The woman checking everyone’s tickets and passports looked at them a little longer then I thought necessary and I chalked it up to her wanting to do a good job, as she had probably only had it for a few months. After security, I almost went past passport control, as it was these random cubes in the middle of the floor with people sitting inside of them and no sign or anything. I handed my passport over to a girl who looked like she was eighteen and asked me how I was, after a much too long pause after the hello’s. Sure she had practiced this in her Border Control English 101. 

I went and took a seat after this and called some of my friends to pass the time and just people watched. I eventually got bored with that and decided that I should use the bathroom, before I got on my plane. The fact that there was even a bathroom in this half done airport was a miracle, even if it didn’t have soap or toilet paper. Lucky for me, after living in Georgia for almost a year, I just bring my own. The last thing you want is explosive diarrhea, courtesy of Georgia, and no toilet paper.

"King David The Builder" I guess they are trying to keep with the theme.

This is were you wait to get on your plane. 

Maybe one day there will be shops and a restaurant? 

When it was time to bored the plane we were separated into two groups, after the people who paid to reserve their tickets got on, so like 10 people. Wizz Air, a budget European Airline, think South West, loads it’s passengers from the front and the back to speed up the process. I stood impatiently, not caring which seat I got, as long as I got one and made my train. I got to go in through the front of the plane and the airline attendants told me, in English, you could start picking your seat from the third row. The plane was filling up and there was only one girl sitting in the third row. They didn’t have the ‘reserved’ head rest sign on it. I went for it, praying that the other flyers on the plane didn’t understand that I we could sit in the third row, not after. I’m going to assume that this was the case, because no one told me to move. This old man, with his wife and daughter sat across the isle from me. The fight attendants gave the safety information in Russian and then they started giving it in English. The old man started speaking to me in Georgian, laughing and saying something along the lines of, why are they speaking English? No one on this flight speaks it! People who speak English fly in planes out of Tbilisi, not Kutasi! I laughed at this point. Partly because I agreed, I mean really, this airport was a shit show, and partly because he thought I was Georgian. 

The flight was a quick and painless two hours that I spent praying to God that I wouldn’t miss my train and listening to the Hunger Games on audio book to take my mind off missing my train, which didn’t really help, because I was listening to book two, where they are on a train touring Panem for the first bit.

The plane landed safely at Kiev Zhulyany International airport and we were loaded on two buses to take us from the tarmac to the airport door. I stood on the bus looking at some lady’s nails, that were shaped like claws, eyeing the other bus. They got to the doors first. By the time I got in line for passport control there were 15 people in front of me. I stood there watching and calculating the time it would take for it to be my turn and looked at my watch. I started muttering to myself that I would never make it. I then gave myself a mental slap and told myself to grow some balls. I tapped on the shoulder of the couple in front of me and explained that I had to get to a train in 40 minuets and asked if I could go ahead of them. They said yes. I asked the next guy if he spoke English, and he didn’t. I morally couldn’t just cut him, but the couple behind me asked me to explain again what I needed. The man took me to the front of the line and explained to everyone in Russian what I was doing. It didn’t look like anyone could have cared either way.

When I went up to the window I gave the woman my passport and said, “Privet!” She looked a little startled, but flipped through my passport, stamped it and handed it back. I said, “spasibo!” and rushed off to the baggage clam before she had a chance to change her mind about letting me into Ukraine. I not so patently scanned the carousel for my bag. it was no where to be seen, so I went out to where they were coming out and tried to look through the black things, to see if I could see my bag. People weren’t taking bags off the carousel, so they the guys in the back couldn’t easily put more on. I thought of throwing them on ground, in an attempt to get mine sooner, but didn’t want to act too crazy. I also thought about just climbing to the other side and getting my bag off the luggage cart myself and was just about to put this plan into action when they put in on the carousel. I grabbed it and ran to the nearest ATM and got money out and ran outside to the taxi stand. I told the person in charge of it that I needed to get to the central station as soon as possible and he pointed me at a taxi and shouted to the driver where we needed to go.

I explained to him, by doing what was probably the most insane looking motions ever that I needed to get to the train station NOW. He took that to mean that we were filming The Fast and the Furious: Kiev, driving at 130km/h (80mph) through the city. He honked and dodged cars trying to get me there. I crossed myself when we passed a church, just like the good little Georgian Orthodox Christian I have become, also because I needed as much help as I could get from God to make this train. I crossed myself seeing a second church, and then thought, wait, wait I’ve seen this church before, and I’ve only been in Kiev once before, and that was to get a train! I had made it to the train station 20 minuets before it was suppose to leave. I wanted to kiss my taxi driver, instead I stuffed an extra 30UAH ($3.50) in his hand and ran off to the ticket counter.

No, I had not been dumb enough to not buy my ticket before hand, but I still had to go to a window and get in printed. I stood in line at one of them, knowing that the lines can be painfully long, looking around in exasperation and saw a window that said, “online reservations” and there was only one person standing in line. Convinced that God truly loved me at this point in time, I went over and waited until it was my turn where I gave the lady, my iPod with the e-mail of the reservation on the screen and she printed out my ticket. I was so happy I didn’t have try to speak to her and I got what I wanted. I walked quickly down the hall, to my platform and found my train car. I gave my ticket to the man outside who asked me something in Russian and I stared blankly at him, so he just waved me in. (I later found out he wanted my ID, but the chances of me stealing another foreigners ticket were probably so small, that he didn’t care. After all I only paid $8 for it. That’s right, an overnight train ride, with a bed was only $8! Слава Україні!) 

I found my bed in the open compartment, which seemed to be filled mostly with university students and looked to see that I had about 10 minuets before the train left. I threw my backpack under a seat, not caring if someone wanted to steal my worn clothes and lipgloss from it, as they would be doing me a favor at this point, and went outside to buy water from a kiosk.

I went up to the window and stopped to think what the word for water was in Ukrainian, thinking it was ‘wasser,’ I asked for it. The woman looked at me like I was crazy. Wrong language I guess. I then tried explaining myself and asking again, this time in Georgian. Know what, Georgian is as useless to know in Ukraine as it is in America. She looked really confused at this point and maybe a little annoyed. I walked away thinking maybe she just didn’t have water, so I circled around the building and found a whole window full of water. I went back to the woman, still speaking to her in Georgian, rather then being a mute, and tapped to the window that had the water in it.  She stuck her head out of a little door, to see what I was going on about and gave me a bottle. I paid her, and as an after thought I asked “gas?” “Da, gas.” “Nyet, gas.” I said sheepishly, trying to act sweet. She traded out the bottles for me and I went back to the train to get settled, glowing in my glory of making it and getting water, even though I made an ass out of myself speaking Georgian.

I made my bed, which was a top bunk on the isle, at the end of the train and stripped down to my tank top and leggings and climbed into bed. My friend hadn’t added money to my Ukrainian SIM card yet, so I had no way of being able to tell him that I had arrived safely. (I also still don’t know my number after having it for a year, so there is no possible way I could add money to it myself.) I put my headphones in and put Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros, Home on and started to drift off to sleep, when my phone went off. My friend was naturally amazing that I had actually made the train. I suspect, he had friends on stand by waiting to take me in for the night in Kiev, if this was the case. He clearly forgot who he was dealing with. 

After I got off the phone with my friend, I passed out, despite people walking up and down the corridor and the train stopping at different stations in the night, until the next morning when I woke up in a pile of enough drool, that I’m surprised that I didn’t drown in the night. I got up, got dressed, tidied everything up and tried to use the bathroom. It was flooded and in poor condition, I thanked God that I had been smart enough to purposely keep myself dehydrated and out of this situation. I went and sat down across from a Ukrainian women, with too much makeup on and felt like a bum. I looked out the window at the little villages going passed, none of them really looked familiar. The train moved gradually into a city, not being sure if it was Lviv or someplace else, as things are more apt to be late in Ukraine, I had my face pressed to the window looking for something that looked familiar. When I knew it was Lviv and raced to put my backpack on go to the door of the train. I resisted the urge to knock the train porter over in an attempt to get out first. When I got out onto the platform I found my best friend after looking for a few moments and we threw out arms around each other and I yelled HAPPY THANKSGIVING, and everyone just looked at us. I just shrugged. I didn’t care. I had made it home for Thanksgiving with my best friend, who would have to fill in for the rest of my family thousands of miles away. We didn’t have turkey or pie that day. There was no football. No strategies for shopping at midnight, just two best friends catching up, being thankful that we could be together.

Thank goodness for best friends who feel the need to take your picture, just after you've got to town!

Home by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros

Midnight Train to Georgia!... I Mean From Georgia to Yerevan

Yesterday afternoon I left my village, crying a sea of tears with my co-teachers and villagers. My host mother dropped me off at the bus stopped and wished me well and told to call when I come back in September. I road an empty, over heated marshookah to Tbilisi and dragged my massive suitcase up four flights of stairs in 95º humid heat to my apartment. I sat in my kitchen making myself drink as much water as possible to stay hydrated. I took a shower, packed my backpack, and headed to the train station to catch my 20:20 overnight train from Georgia to Yerevan, Armenia. I decided to fit a trip in to here at the end of the semester and before I leave for Denmark a few months ago. Other volunteers have raved about it and I have been sent to explore the country, by a friend from back in Maine who has roots here and yes I am talking about Kim Kardashian. 

I decided to take this trip alone, as a lot of my friends in Georgia had already been, most of them when I was enjoying Christmas holidays in Ukraine and galavanting around the Baltic during Easter holidays. Armenia is one of those countries that most Americans wouldn't even know where it is on the map, let alone have been too. (It is surrounded by Turkey, Georgia, Azerbaijan, and Iran.) I have also been told about Armenia’s rich Christian past, the genocide that it’s neighboring country Turkey still calls an “unfortunate accident while trying to relocate some Armenians” (right into a desert), and culture in general. I cannot comment on any of this yet, because in my blog world I am just getting onto a train in Tbilisi.

I had the choice of 1st, 2nd, or 3rd class accommodations on the train and I went with 3rd “for the adventure” as I put it when I was buying my ticket. My moron of a friend said that sounded like something a rich person would say and I just glared. 3rd class comprises of the train car to have open sleeping compartments. It is also how most of the population travels, as it is the cheapest. I also find it the most fun and authentic and I am cheap. I had traveled in it, almost three years ago in Ukraine and it was terrifying, mostly because I was hungover, cold, and very confused as to why I was given a bed, when I was suppose to make it to Lviv before midnight. I later met some Peace Corps volunteers who could not believe that I was sold a ticket for it, even them who spoke the langue had a hard time managing to wrangle one as they where foreign. I had to go to two ticket counters to be offered it in Georgia. It is also generally safer as a woman traveling alone, because it’s less likely that someone will attack you in a train full of nosey grandmothers, rather then a small compartment like in 1st or 2nd class. 

When I got to the train platform I was greeted by my train car captain, if you will who, I quickly learned only spoke Russian, no Georgian, which I continued to use when speaking to him for the whole ride. I didn't care if he didn't know what I was saying by speaking Georgian, someone around my would and translate. He showed me to my bed and asked to see my passport. He was so pleased to see that I was an American he pinched my cheek and came back a short while later with some warm pear Fanta to share with me. (Yummy! nothing like warm soda!) I suspected he was a little drunk, but I could have been wrong. My cabin partner was a 21 year-old Georgian boy who scoffed when I told him I was from the Lagodekhi region. Apparently he had, had a bad football (soccer) match with them a while back. In spite of that we got along quite well, talking a little in Georgian and he even tried to share his hotdogs with me that he dipped in sour cream. I declined those, oddly enough some ended up on the floor. We also shared a huge dislike for the fact that our window could not open, due to the massive boxes of apples on the bunks above our beds that were blocking them. Apparently to offset the fact that not many people travel from Georgia to Armenia, they pack the train full of produce and other things like bricks of sugar. (Or at least I believe it was sugar and not cocaine.) We also made fun of our captain in Georgian because he couldn't understand!

Train compartment with apples

We road for a few hours, me talking on the phone and watching the newest Nurse Jackie and some Portlandia, until our lovely captain told us to get out our passports. My Georgian friend took mine when I put it on the table and examined all of my stamps. I told him of my love of Lviv when he saw all of the ones for Ukraine. He told me that he would like to have an American passport. Well, yes, wouldn’t we all Georgie?   The Georgian border guards came and collected them all and gave them back about an hour later with fresh stamps. We rode on for about another 45 minuets, until we got to the Armenian border crossing. (Why it takes that long, we may never know.) 

Before the train stopped the captain came to collect me, because I had to leave the train to get off and get a visa, being American. We stood by the door, waiting for the train to stop. He smoked a cigarette, while asking where I was from and touching my color tattoo. (I’ve gotten use to that this past six months. No female here has a tattoo, let alone a color one.)  When we stopped a solider escorted me the length of the train, where we met up with a few other travelers from Italy, Greece, and Holland who had opted to the 1st and 2nd class accommodations. We were taken into a small brightly lit, room where I tried to fight off sleep as it was close to midnight. I filled out a form about where I was going in Armenia and for how long. All the usual paper work. I did make a few mistakes that I crossed out, hoping they wouldn’t make me start all over again. I just wanted to sleep. They processed the people from Netherlands and the Greek. When it was my turn the guard started trying in my information and the captain showed up. He started yelling in Russian about me having a Georgian passport and they shouldn’t be holding me this long. I should have been done by now. I looked at the guard shocked, and told him that I live in Georgia, working as a teacher, but under no circumstances do I have a Georgian passport. I was an American and that was the only passport I have ever had. They understood that my dear captain was mistaken, and shuffled him out of the room. The Italian just looked at me and asked what the hell had just happened. I shrugged and said he was crazy or drunk. I was then asked to pay 3000 dram ($8) and I asked if I could pay in American. The bored guard then decided to have some fun with me and tell me that I could only pay in Armenian money. I am sure I looked like I was going to cry, because then he told me that I could pay with it. I only had $20, so I paid for the Italian too and he gave me Armenian money back. I was given a visa sticker, that was printed out on a computer printer and lead into a second room, that apparently no one else had to go to, where due to my bad eye sight I could not see what was being done on the computer. I am going to thank the captain for this. I am sure they were checking that there was no way I had ever had another passport. (If anyone wants to give me an EU one I wouldn’t say no, but seriously, seriously Georgian? What would I ever use that for?)  

Mhaha! They gave it to me!

I was escorted from the room and told I could go back on the train. When I got on, it looked like a war zone. The customs agents had torn the place up looking for contraband. When I got back to my compartment, I found my counter part with his empty duffle bag, stuffing all of his football gear back into it. (He was on his way to Armenia to play.) Panicking I looked to see if they had touched my bag, my friend shook his head, they hadn’t. All they would have found anyways was some clothes, my laptop, make up, and some odds and ends. I just don’t like people touching my stuff without me present. They did however go into my carryon food bag and they touched my crackers. Bastards. (Still going to eat them!) Everyone in the train looked a little shaken and annoyed. I decided to go to bed. I didn’t care if they were still on the train, I wanted to go to bed and they could wake me up if they had any questions. 

I tossed and turned all night on the hard bed. I woke up at sometime near dawn to a woman crouched down by my bag. I started to freakout, but then she pulled out what I think was a pack of diapers, that she had hidden from the customs agents in a corner for whatever reason. I didn’t care about her illegal activities, I just wanted to get some more sleep. 

I was happy when the train ride ended a few hours later, finally in Yerevan and very ready to start my summer vacation. Even though it was another crazy night train ride, they always seem to be the most memorable. Whether it be one from Hamburg to Amsterdam where I trick a Swede into thinking that I had never had salt licorice before so he gives me some to see my reaction, or from Lviv to Budapest crying my eyes out in between border checks (did I really need to show you my pack and a half of cigarettes? Not going to let that go.), or having my best friend wake up to find me drunk off of six shots of vodka for breakfast and thinking we should skip putting me on my plane back to America and go fishing with a man in his village in Ukraine instead, on a ride from Lviv to Kiev. My life is far from conventional, but it is highly enjoyable. The real question is how I will fare during my time in Armenia and for that you will have to wait to find out...

I looked so happy with my Ukrainian friend who wanted to take me fishing!

Derailed Abandonment

Last Tuesday I was feeling down and upset, which I am sure had nothing to do with all the vodka I drank the night before, and I reasoned with myself. I could either stay in bed feeling sorry for myself, due to my emotional hang over or I could go out shooting. Making the grown up choice, I went with shooting because I know it almost always makes me feel better to get out and get lost behind my lens. 

I made my way to the bus stop to take bus 8, about forty minuets outside of Lviv to a small town that had old abandoned railroad cars at the train station. I was feeling a little more adventurous that day, then perhaps I normally am. I think it was the combination of being really mad, lack of sleep, needing to get out some pent up energy and never getting in trouble for taking photos, except for getting yelled at once or twice and I just decided to for it. I really did not care if I got in trouble with anyone.

Once I got there I had the choice of which of the three trains to tackle first. Two were in a gated train park if you will, so I went with the one not inclosed. I walked along taking pictures of the outside, noticing that most of the door handles were tied with rusted metal wire. I walked down a few cars looking for a door that it looked like I could get in. The stairs were not lowered, so I had to hold on to the ice cold hand rails on either side of the door while leaning back a bit due to the stair position and try to get the metal wire off. It did not work so well at all. I snapped off some of the metal, but not the part that would let me open the door. I jumped down, thinking of what I had in my bag that I could use to cut it, and I came up with nothing, so I gave up and kept walking, swearing inside my head at my bad day and bad luck. Now I must interject here, that I know that this is most likely classified as private property and by breaking off the metal thing and trying to get in that way is clearly “breaking and entering”. I normally just go into places that aren’t locked, or don’t have doors, so I can play the “Oh I didn’t know that I’m not suppose to be here” game if I was ever to get caught. I would also like to that I do not condone anyone doing what I am doing. 

I kept walking along the train cars and saw one with smoke coming out the top and I was pretty sure at this point that someone was living in it. There were wood chips all around, like someone had been chopping wood. This door also had no metal on the handle so I started knocking on it. No one answered, so I just decided to keep walking. Clearly this person did not want to be bothered. 

I walked passed some more train cars, and they all looked the same after a while so when I got to the end of the train I turned around and walked back on the other side. It looked again mostly the same, except for when I got to smoking train again I saw that there was tons of wood stacked against two of the windows. I thought to myself “What kind of Into the Wild, Christopher McCandless shit is going on here?” I stood there debating on ducking under the train and going back to the other side and really banning on the door until I was let in. Clearly this was not just some drunk hobo, who happened to stumble upon the train for shelter for the night. Someone was genuinely living there, with their stock pile of wood. Sanity kicked back in and told me to just keep on walking. This could be a serial killer for all I knew, ok so maybe that wasn’t the most sane assumption, but better safe then dead. There were a lot, and I mean a lot of empty vodka bottles as I walked, I did not think they were from my train friend, as in Ukraine its kind of habit to just throw things where ever. I kept my eyes on the ground so I wouldn’t step on too much glass and all of a sudden I saw human fecal matter. Well this person has my hole in the ground beat. I am assuming that it was the train friend, because it was a few cars down from his own and the area was used more then three times. I also have seen a lot of animal poop in my life and I know for a fact, that is not what it was. I’m just happy that it was cold out so it didn’t smell, even though who doesn’t enjoy the nice smell of sun roasted poo? 

I walked until I reached the end of the train and the gate to the park for the other two trains. It was open so I walked right inside and went to the train on the right. The first third of it looked like it could be used if needed, but wasn’t. The second third looked more run down and there were bars on the window. It kind of freaked me out like it was a car from Soviet times to take prisoners to Siberia or something. I hate the thought of prisons, especially train ones. Bad karma that I just do not want to be apart of so I walked briskly past.

       The last third of the train was completely in ruin. The cars had been gutted and all of the doors were open. I had mixed feelings about this. I wished that there had been a little bit more inside, but at the same time I was happy to have access. The stairs were a tad easier to get up on, but I still had to pull myself up using the hand rails and then I kind of ended up kneeling on the floor of the train and getting up that way. Its hard to explain, but I soon realized how stupid I had been in wearing a short dress with leggings to this expedition, that got covered with rust. Looking back it may not have been such a bad idea as my jeans are getting a little, ahem tight, and I could have very easily ripped a hole in them moving the wrong way. After getting up I carefully walked through every car, as it soon became apparent that the floor, was not too sound and almost fell through a few times. I know all the caring adults in my life right now are reading this and cringing, but it’s kind of like going out onto a pond in winter and not knowing if its fully frozen or not. I know you have all done that. So there.

I got off my run down train and walked along number three and there again wasn’t much to see. All the doors were closed on the train, the sun was starting to set and it was turning cold so I thought it might be best to get heading back to Lviv, even with my melancholy still intact. Everything can’t be perfect the whole time I am living in Europe. I know with the amazing days I will have some that aren’t so blissful, but I also know as time fades my memories into a blur I will always have my photos to jog my mind and I will extract what this one moment in time meant. Perhaps this one day or moment at the train grave yard will have some profound affect on my life that I have yet to realize. All I know is that I am living a life that leaves me flabbergasted and at a loss for words a lot of the times.